If Advertising Worked

10 Mar

If advertising worked…

…products would fly off the shelf as consumers spent wildly on products (cuz God knows advertising never tells consumers to not buy)…

…inventory levels would soon be depleted causing manufacturers to increase production capacity…

…causing manufacturers to obtain new capital and loans to finance the creation of new production capacity…

…which would cause a capital shortage within financial institutions who have limited capital to invest…

…which would cause interest rates to skyrocket…

…which would reduce corporations profitability….

…which would cause the stock market to decrease…

….and cause firms to lay off workers…

….all of which would reduce consumers’ income and net worth….

….and cause the economy to collapse.


If advertising worked…

…products would fly off the shelf as consumers spent wildly on products (cuz God knows advertising never tells consumers to not buy)…

…which would cause consumers to spend beyond their means…

…which would force consumers to take out loans to finance their spending….

…which they would not get, because all of the capital would have already been lent to manufacturers…

…which would limit consumers’ ability to spend….

…which would hurt companies’ profitability…

…and exacerbate layoffs…

…and further cause the economy to collapse.


Good thing advertising doesn’t work, eh?

5 Responses to “If Advertising Worked”

  1. Jordan Cohen March 10, 2010 at 5:10 pm #

    If advertising worked…

    …products would fly off the shelf as consumers spent wildly on products (cuz God knows advertising never tells consumers to not buy)…

    …retailers would collect, store and share mass amounts of consumer data as a result of these purchases (both online and off)…

    …which will result in more targeted future offers, causing consumers to spend even more wildly on products…

    …resulting in even better targeting…

    …resulting in more spending…

    …better targeting…

    …more spending…

    …at a certain point, Google ends up taking over the world and all hell breaks loose…

    Reply
  2. Doug Brockway March 10, 2010 at 5:14 pm #

    If advertising worked people would spend money on it.

    Reply
    • Ron Shevlin March 10, 2010 at 5:29 pm #

      Huh? Outsell Inc. published a report estimating the advertising spend at $412 billion. You don’t think firms are spending money on advertising?

      Reply
  3. Jason Simon March 10, 2010 at 5:33 pm #

    If advertising worked I wouldn’t have a house full of consumer products I don’t need!! Wait, I do.

    Reply
    • Ron Shevlin March 10, 2010 at 6:57 pm #

      I should have been more specific: “If Advertising Worked On Everybody”. Clearly it works on Mrs. Simon. :)

      Reply

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